So it’s been a while but you’ve been on my mind. To all my readers that expected more from me – allow me to be truthful and just say: Tough – get over yourself.
Ok, ok. I apologise if that came off rude however I am human after all. I failed the consistency test but I never once meant to neglect you. I am returned. With all impurity and taintedness learned / gained anew.
Let me not bore you. The purpose of this post is to tell you that I am in the mood to write again. I have a full arsenal of emotions and experiences at my disposal and you’re all in the firing line. This will be a journey you might learn from and enjoy (however I acknowledge that this may be a stretch).
A little over a year ago I drafted something. It surprised me today. For the followong reasons:
1. I didn’t think it was all that visionary at the time
2. I really had no right or reason to begin deliverating on such a heavy topic
3. It relates to a lot of things going on in my life right now
4. It was exactly what I wanted to write about
“An uninspiring title: Lessons about myself – The Journey Begins”
I have decided that I will continue to flesh this topic out with as much of my new experiences, thoughts and lessons from along the way. Look out for this piece.
Although I must admit that it has no clear directiom right now so brace yourself and expect anything and nothing.
Either way… I cannot wait to share it with you. Thank you for staying in the bus – the journey is now resumed.
Next stop … Anyone’s guess.
Oftentimes life shits on everything you know or ‘think’ you know. Except it’s a pretty shit – an awesome shit. The kind that only a unicorn (if ever they existed) in all its majesty would lay ever so gracefully upon the earth. Magic happens. it could be anything you see, it could be absolutely anything – this little form of magic. Right now it happens to be human for me.
Magic walked into my life when I needed them the least. In an awkward but perfect instant they understood and fit snugly into every single ideal I tendered about the world. Magic knew the ins and outs, made no excuses, held no punches and accompanied on every ride – side by side. Magic was immediately everything and anything they needed to / could be. Magic’s persona and actions were so effortless, pure and flawless – always genuine and kind. Magic was perfect because they were willing. Magic happened from nothing and suddenly featured in everything and slowly began to mean almost everything. Magic was what was right with the world. This pretty shit on the other side of my consciousness and the object in front of my eyes was the most enjoyable thing in this universe to me.
Magic was the unexpected – the utterly appreciated.
Thank you Magic; you awesome unicorn turd, you pretty little shit.
You know, when you’re in that reflective mood… Something like this comes on:
… and you start thinking of all that could’a should’a would’a been. When you think of all the imperfectly perfect moments of what was – pondering on whether it was a waste of time or the greatest lesson you could have learned about yourself and life in general. Well, I’ve hit the replay button and I’m think that it’s all for the better you know. All for the growth of self and soul. All for the future – now you know what you want / don’t want, now you know what you can / won’t accept. Now you know a little bit more about NOTHING!
I mean, who are we kidding? There is so much to learn and feel and do and see and experience in this life. We only get a few stills here and there! Imagine if you could watch all the happy moments in your life put together in some queer stop-animation film. Imagine if you could string them all together and relive them one after the other – what a high!! WHAT A BORING HIGH!
The more I’ve experienced in this interesting little life of mine is that you can’t have the good without the bad. You can’t have clarity without confusion. This write up is proof – at least to myself. I think there’s a place and a time for everything. Go figure why my favourite book in the bible is Ecclesiastes. Thank you infinite Father for your teachings.
Anyway back to the crux of this matter – I think I’m finally able to properly move away from the idea of her. No more waiting – no more believing. If it really was meant to be then the puzzle pieces would still fit. Instead they don’t. All that’s there is empty longing for what could have been and you can’t live on an idea forever. At some point it needs to become real. At some point it needs to reveal its face and let you know that you’re on the right track. At some point you need to just smile without reservation and without the worry that …
Scratch this! Reflective posts are the worst. You can never get your thoughts right because as soon you think you have it all figured out a new thought comes around and twerks all over your mind. At least the writing aspect offers some form of catharsis!
until the next roller-coaster….
Amazing find. I can’t wait to hear more from this guy if this is how he’s sounding right now. Haven’t done my research on him as yet but the internet is ours to discover and pillage.
Enjoy the sounds. More gems to follow.
I was pondering earlier on how we often concern ourselves with what could have been or with what lays ahead/ in the pastures ‘on the other side’. Funny that life is always presenting us with the other side we always dream of but when we receive it/ are placed within it we long for a new pasture, a new place, a new situation, a new life and some might say – A NEW US.
Why is this so? Why do we always seem to never be satisfied. It’s never enough and then it’s always too much. We never give up complaining but are all too quick to give up trying. All too quick to say we’ve had enough and we can’t go on but are always too afraid of dying. What is it with us? Is this the ultimate perpetual human condition or will we evolve and turn the corner for good?
1. The guy/ girl who has a good significant other,one that cares for them,one that loves them deeply and irrevocably. That guy/girl has it all (seemingly) but leaves a good thing, a good person for the unknown.For a chance at something new that may not work or may not be as good.
2. Patsy in 12 Years A Slave. Wanting to die but realising that she cannot take her own life because as difficult, inhumane, unappreciated, tattered and disrupted as it is – she still values it more than anything else in this world. She cannot end herself so she asks Platt to do it instead.
3. The person that enters into an agreement because it’s everything they ever wanted only to wake up on the other side of the bed the next day and realise it wasn’t what they needed.
4. The rich kid looking for trouble and adventure in dangerous corners because he feels like money isn’t everything.
5. Hank Moody in Californication. Has everything perfect in his grasp but chooses the dark side; the allure of what he hasn’t had before or is about to give up.
6. The guy in the club trying to entice a new girl to go home with him. Subsequently hitting 5 road blocks, attempt after attempt, giving up on making a 6th pass when she made a resolve to make him sweat a little first.
7. The father/ mother that has an extra-marital affair only to realise that they had made a mistake in thinking their fantasies were better than their realities.
8. The whole premise of The Royal Tennenbaums. Successful professional neglects everything that holds him up and is of value in his life only to be struck down by mother nature and return to his estranged family – realising how immaterial certain possessions and accomplishments are in the greater scheme of things.
9. Bill & Hillary Clinton – Sexual Relations ft. Monica Lewinsky.
10. The person that leaves their stable job for the allure of big money elsewhere under no guarantee or assurance.
Church on the moon? NASA your beliefs.
The heavens are up above, or at least that’s what we believe.
I guess religion just works to crowd our vision.
The sermon’s on the moon with all the other creatures.
Let’s attend church on the moon, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, boom.
Take me to outer space. We could live there and I would love you. Let’s leave this crazy place, all I’ll need is you to make it through – Let’s leave the human race, everybody’s claiming to be hot and they think they’re cool.
There’s no church on the moon so who’s gonna marry us baby?
There’s no church on the moon so we’ll believe in how we feel.
There’s no church past the moon is that where heaven is.
There’s no church on the moon so who’s gonna marry us baby?
She said, fly my love away, rocket my body to the moon. She said, keep doing all those things that you do to me, baby I like.
Sometimes I feel as if all that the world needs is bacon. I feel as if all the good people and the warlords and evil people (allow my cartoon reference to stand) sat down over some bacon and share a laugh and a story or two then we would see a different world begin to take shape.
Maybe the foodie in me and the idealist in me shouldn’t really be having a conversation moderated by a grumbling stomach and a news-absorbing brain.
It is what it is,
We all suffer from something,
Not supposed to be perfect,
Just look around.
Creepin’ up from under covers,
The sun’s blinding at first glance,
But like moments after trouble,
It gets easier on the eye.
Chasing the things that won’t matter tomorrow,
No vision, no mission, no strength,
To carry on, to be on your own,
I won’t sleep I won’t dream,
Cause I’m scared,
Thing just ain’t fair,
It ain’t meant to be like this.
I won’t eat, won’t leave,
Cause I’m not prepared,
Things just ain’t fair,
Why did they get like this?
Calculating in that twisted little mind of yours,
You’d love to see me fall and smash my face against the floor,
But karma’s got good things coming my way,
And I deserve them all, The price was paid in full.
Elevation in the elevator, closed spaces make me think better,
That’s why I shut myself in my room all day,
and get high, bump classics and fade away,
Deep breaths, inhale the tension and exhale release.
The sordid tales of last night are just an extension of who we are every day, Who we are when we hold hands with the girl or guy of the day, Who we are when we lay down and the world slows down so much so that we can hear our hearts beat. You just remembered you had a heart beat right? I know. I’m there too. We won’t leave, we can’t leave. Ever tried doing something alone, against the waves of mass appeal? I know. I’m there too.
Have you ever been alone? Like, really alone. When it just seems like your whole house is empty and all you yearn for is the creaking of a floorboard alerting you that some loved one is there, if not a loved one then at least someone who cares – about you. Loneliness is quite selfish isn’t it? It’s so easy to send a text and receive a reply but the absent touch makes your insides cry doesn’t it? Or maybe not. Maybe you’re just a damaged sociopath. Maybe you’re just living vicariously off the mass high.
On other nights;
I’ll text you an “I love you” then I’ll put another condom on and sex another woman like the world was ending. I’ll come home smelling like a cologne shower hoping you won’t know. Hoping it masks the scent of deceit, lies, back-stabbing, lust, sin, unfaithfulness. I hope it makes you blind, deaf and dumb.
Yes, sordid! The place my mind and heart dwell. It smells like heartbreak in here. It smells like Vodka and cranberry in here. I’m losing all my morals in here. I’m fading away from the light in here.
What do I deserve? You get what you deserve! What do I deserve?
I know your worth. I’ll never treat you accordingly. You’re always going to be replaceable, unlovable, get-over-able. I know your worth – What baffles me is trying to figure out what I’m worth…
I know your worth. I know you’re priceless.
She can have her cake and eat it,
With warmth and taste replete,
She is my chocolate melody.
Desires spread across country plains,
Life begins to blossom after her love rains,
I’ve dreamt of her by the willow tree.
She is the sweetest form of cadence,
I can, to naught but her rhythm, dance,
I’ll love her forever by my heart’s decree.
Millions of people have decided not be sensitive. They have grown thick skins around themselves just to avoid being hurt by anybody. But it is at great cost. Nobody can hurt them, but nobody can make them happy either.
1. PUSH YOURSELF TO GET UP BEFORE THE REST OF THE WORLD – START WITH 7AM, THEN 6AM, THEN 5:30AM. GO TO THE NEAREST HILL WITH A BIG COAT AND A SCARF AND WATCH THE SUN RISE.
2. PUSH YOURSELF TO FALL ASLEEP EARLIER – START WITH 11PM, THEN 10PM, THEN 9PM. WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING RE-ENERGIZED AND COMFORTABLE.
3. ERASE PROCESSED FOOD FROM YOUR DIET. START WITH NO LOLLIES, CHIPS, BISCUITS, THEN ERASE PASTA, RICE, CEREAL, THEN BREAD. USE THE RULE THAT IF A CHILD COULDN’T IDENTIFY WHAT WAS IN IT, YOU DON’T EAT IT.
4. GET INTO THE HABIT OF COOKING YOURSELF A BEAUTIFUL BREAKFAST. FRY TOMATOES AND MUSHROOMS IN REAL BUTTER AND GARLIC, FRY AN EGG, SLICE UP A FRESH AVOCADO AND SQUIRT WAY TOO MUCH LEMON ON IT. SIT AND EAT IT AND DO NOTHING ELSE.
5. STRETCH. START BY REACHING FOR THE SKY AS HARD AS YOU CAN, THEN TRYING TO TOUCH YOUR TOES. ROLL YOUR HEAD. STRETCH YOUR FINGERS. STRETCH EVERYTHING.
6. BUY A 1L WATER BOTTLE. START WITH PUSHING YOURSELF TO DRINK THE WHOLE THING IN A DAY, THEN TRY DRINKING IT TWICE.
7. BUY A BEAUTIFUL DIARY AND A BEAUTIFUL BLACK PEN. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU DO, INCLUDING DINNER DATES, APPOINTMENTS, ASSIGNMENTS, COFFEES, WHAT YOU NEED TO DO THAT DAY. NO DETAIL IS TOO SMALL.
8. STRIP YOUR BED OF YOUR SHEETS AND EMPTY YOUR UNDERWEAR DRAW INTO THE WASHING MACHINE. PUT A MASSIVE SCOOP OF SCENTED FABRIC SOFTENER IN THERE AND WASH. MAKE YOUR BED IN FULL.
9. ORGANISE YOUR ROOM. FOLD ALL YOUR CLOTHES (AND BAG WHAT YOU DON’T WANT), CLEAN YOUR MIRROR, YOUR LAPTOP, VACUUM THE FLOOR. LIGHT A BEAUTIFUL CANDLE.
10. HAVE A LUXURIOUS SHOWER WITH YOUR FAVOURITE MUSIC PLAYING. WASH YOUR HAIR, SCRUB YOUR BODY, BRUSH YOUR TEETH. LATHER YOUR WHOLE BODY IN MOISTURISER, GET FAMILIAR WITH THE PART BETWEEN YOUR TOES, YOUR INNER THIGHS, THE BACK OF YOUR NECK.
11. PUSH YOURSELF TO GO FOR A WALK. TAKE YOUR HEADPHONES, GO TO THE BEACH AND WALK. SMILE AT STRANGERS WALKING THE OTHER WAY AND BE SURPRISED HOW MANY SMILE BACK. BRING YOUR DOG AND OBSERVE THE DOG’S BEHAVIOUR. REALISE YOU CAN LEARN FROM YOUR DOG.
12. MESSAGE OLD FRIENDS WITH PERSONAL JOKES. REMINISCE. SUGGEST A CATCH UP SOON, EVEN IF YOU DON’T FOLLOW THROUGH. PUSH YOURSELF TO FOLLOW THROUGH.
14. THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT WHAT INTERESTS YOU. CRIME? SEX? BOARDING SCHOOL? LONG-FORGOTTEN ROMANCE ETIQUETTE? FIND A BOOK ABOUT IT AND READ IT. THERE IS A BOOK ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
15. BECOME THE PERSON YOU WOULD IDEALLY FALL IN LOVE WITH. LET CARS MERGE INTO YOUR LANE WHEN DRIVING. PAY DOUBLE FOR PARKING TICKETS AND LEAVE A SECOND ONE IN THE MACHINE. STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT BABIES. COMPLIMENT PEOPLE ON THEIR CUTE CLOTHES. CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO NOT RIDICULE ANYONE FOR A WHOLE DAY. THEN TWO. THEN A WEEK. WALK WITH A STRAIGHT POSTURE. LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE. ASK PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR STORY. TALK TO ACQUAINTANCES SO THEY BECOME FRIENDS.
16. LIE IN THE SUNSHINE. DAYDREAM ABOUT THE LIFE YOU WOULD LEAD IF FAILURE WASN’T A THING. OPEN YOUR EYES. TAKE SMALL STEPS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR YOU.
For years, I opened my 11th-grade U.S. history classes by asking students, “What’s the name of that guy they say discovered America?” A few students might object to the word “discover,” but they all knew the fellow I was talking about. “Christopher Columbus!” several called out in unison.
“Right. So who did he find when he came here?” I asked. Usually, a few students would say, “Indians,” but I asked them to be specific: “Which nationality? What are their names?”
In more than 30 years of teaching U.S. history and guest-teaching in others’ classes, I’ve never had a single student say, “Taínos.” How do we explain that? We all know the name of the man who came here from Europe, but none of us knows the name of the people who were here first—and there were hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of them. Why haven’t you heard of them?
This ignorance is an artifact of historical silencing—rendering invisible the lives and stories of entire peoples.
[…] In an interview with Barbara Miner, included in Rethinking Columbus, Suzan Shown Harjo of the Morning Star Institute, who is Creek and Cheyenne, said: “As Native American peoples in this red quarter of Mother Earth, we have no reason to celebrate an invasion that caused the demise of so many of our people, and is still causing destruction today.” After all, Columbus did not merely “discover,” he took over. He kidnapped Taínos, enslaved them—“Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can be sold,” Columbus wrote—and “punished” them by ordering that their hands be cut off or that they be chased down by vicious attack dogs, if they failed to deliver the quota of gold that Columbus demanded. One eyewitness accompanying Columbus wrote that it “did them great damage, for a dog is the equal of 10 men against the Indians.”
Corporate textbooks and children’s biographies of Columbus included none of this and were filled with misinformation and distortion. But the deeper problem was the subtext of the Columbus story: it’s OK for big nations to bully small nations, for white people to dominate people of color, to celebrate the colonialists with no attention paid to the perspectives of the colonized, to view history solely from the standpoint of the winners.
— Bill Bigelow, Rethinking Columbus: Towards a True People’s History
Drake really went ape on this though…
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The way that you start the day basically dictates how the rest of your day will go. It is these first thoughts that you have that will either have you getting off to a good start or off to no start. When you hit that snooze button in the morning, what goes through your head? Is it: Woohoo let’s start the day! But let me just sleep for another 10 minutes.
Or is it: F*ck…not again. Why?! Why, does it have to be morning already?! Oh what I would give not to get up right now…that’s it, I’m hitting the snooze button. Each time that you hit the snooze button, you are telling yourself that you would be better off staying in bed — that getting up and starting your day is not something that you want to do. You begin your day with negative thinking. Negativity is a disease — don’t be the one to infect yourself.
There are two sorts of things that one does: those that are worth doing and those that aren’t. Anything that is worth doing should be given focus unto. Anything worth doing ought to be done properly; if you aren’t going to give something your fullest attention, then don’t bother doing it. Not only will you produce half-assed results, research now shows that multitasking makes you dumber. So not only will your work suffer, but so will your IQ.
A person either matters to you and plays a significant part in your life or they are of little to no importance. People affect us profoundly. The words a person speaks, his or her actions — towards us or around us — their energy and state of mind all affect us whether or not we wish it so. If you ever find yourself asking yourself why the hell you are hanging out with this idiot, then you have found yourself in a situation you should not be in.
The world is full of ignorant people. I’m not one to believe dumbness to be the key underlying factor, but rather the ignorance that allows these morons to accept their idiocy, to be their true fault. If your goal is to see the world from as many perspectives as possible, as it ought to be, then you have no place standing next to a dumbass — far less to be fraternizing with one. Only spend time with those who are worth it. If you could care less, then do something else.
Now, I don’t mean from work — the more time off you are able to take and the more “you time” you can squeeze in, the better. However, you should never take a day off from working toward your dreams, toward your goals and toward the life that you wish to have. Once we get to know ourselves enough to know the life we must lead, reasons for living any other way for even a second are inexcusable.
It is understandable to do erratic things when grasping for solid ground to stand on. But if you know what needs to be done, then do it. You have no reason or excuse not to. Many times people like to “reward” themselves for holding a routine for a certain amount of time. Oh, I’ve been exercising and eating healthy for the last month… so I’m going to treat myself and eat a bucket of ice cream — but only after I finish off this rack of bacon.
You want to reward yourself by regressing to a worse version of yourself? How in the name of all that is holy is that a reward? If you have been focused and diligent, making sure not to go out and get sh*tfaced, making sure to stay up-to-date on your reading and other activities that you deem important, then reward yourself by not being a pussy and sticking to it.
Every day of our lives the circumstances change — the world is different. Nothing ever stays the same around us, so there is no reason why we should remain unchanged. We should continuously be looking for new experiences and new aspects of life that we have yet to live. There is more to do than can possibly be done — so why stick to a rigid routine that does nothing more than allow you to get through the day?
This day is a gift, not a hurdle. We are meant to grow and change for the better — this requires learning; learning requires new information, which can only be derived from new experiences. Life is the greatest teacher — experience, listen, learn and grow.
So many opportunities are lost because we simply fail to ask. We are so afraid of rejection that we don’t attempt to ask. What is the worst that anyone can tell you? No? And then what happens? You go on living your life, only the wiser for knowing that you didn’t miss out on an opportunity. Life is for the taking — the least you can do is politely ask to be given what you want. You’ll be surprised to know how many people are just as afraid of saying No as they are hearing it. Which brings me to my next point:
Only you know what it is that you want and what you don’t want to have anything to do with. I could never understand the concept of people saying yes when they really want to say no. Just say no. It’s fun. Try it. NO! Feels good, doesn’t it? Don’t allow yourself to be pushed around — stand your ground. There are people out there who find no shame in taking advantage of you — and I’d hate to say it, but if you allow yourself to be pushed around, then you deserve it.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t help out a friend in need even when we find it somewhat inconvenient. There are, of course, times when we ought to say yes even when we don’t really feel like it. You must figure out for yourself when saying no is appropriate and when you are just being lazy. But if you know that it is entirely acceptable to reject someone, then reject away. Whenever it is acceptable to say no, chances are that the person shouldn’t have been asking to begin with and was only trying to take advantage.
Putting things off for some other time in the future is pointless. If something needs to be done, now is as good a time as any — plus, if you get it done now, you won’t have to do it later and won’t have the additional weight on your mind until then. The more we put off the larger things, the chances that we will find ourselves swamped with more than we can handle.
Not to mention… tomorrow is never promised. It would be a shame if you decided to hold off on doing something important to you only to never get a chance to do it. This is the essence of life — a certain end at an uncertain time. Squeeze every drop out of life while you still have the strength to squeeze.
I’m lazy to reference properly so… In case you wanna read the full article: http://elitedaily.com/money/entrepreneurship/the-9-things-that-you-should-not-do-today-2/
Earlier about success…
This success thing is taking just a little too long for my liking…
— Sexy in a bowtie (@MemoirsOfAHuman) September 11, 2013
I guess this is the answer!!!